I am not sure anyone can understand the magic of MEA until they experience it themselves. It’s the hospitality, the campus, and the sincere commitment to the curriculum.
I had a deep and meaningful experience. My cohort was special – kind, compassionate, and supportive. We had many thought-provoking discussions. I fell in love with a moment in time.
Despite my beautiful experiences there, a negative encounter stands out – a lesson the wisdom age brings.
Bonnie (not her real name), joined our group midweek. I was wary of her negative energy and mean-looking glares.
Our next exercise: dream big – envision our future beyond our imagination. No holds barred.
I expected to see my program for cancer survivors in my vision, a dream I had spent the past year creating. But I did not. This was an epiphany – not now.
We broke into groups of three. Each person had two minutes…. sacrosanct…to relay their vision. I had hoped to avoid Bonnie. I was afraid that her energy would cloud the experience. As fate would have it, my group included Bonnie.
I went first and shared my surprise that I didn’t envision my program and that I realized…. Bonnie immediately interrupted me. She ignored the MEA tenets – don’t steal a moment from who’s relaying their vision. And, no advice.
She told me I was doing it wrong by focusing on the negative. She said she meets women like me all the time – weak, indecisive, and apologizing for what isn’t.
I tried to interject. I tried to explain that not seeing my program wasn’t negative. It was significant. I had new clarity. I realized what we don’t want opens up space for what we do want. What I had been certain about was now cleared away for something else. I wasn’t lost or wrong; it was simply time to pivot.
Bonnie continued to chastise me for being what she decided I was. For a moment, I felt small. Was I weak and indecisive? But MEA reminded me of the power of age and experience, reinforcing the wisdom that others do not define me.
In my head, I heard a dear friend’s favorite words: Remember who the fuck you are.
The timer went off. I stood my ground. “You don’t know me. Don’t tell me who I am or how wrong I am”, I said. Bonnie condescendingly blew me off. It was her time to speak.
I avoided Bonnie for the rest of the workshop. I wanted my positive and encouraging compadres to fuel me – another wisdom of age – surround yourself with people who inspire you.
MEA inspired me. When I returned home, I took up writing again, and to my surprise, I’ve become a paid, published writer. Cindie and I joined forces to offer yoga and tarot workshops to serve the non-profit community. We’re having a blast.
I will bring my Program for Cancer Survivors to my community – someday, but not now.
I am grateful to Bonnie. She ignited a revelation…I’ve earned my self-awareness. My dreams and visions are my own, and no one can tell me otherwise.
She reminded me how valuable my time is and the importance of surrounding myself with those who uplift and support me – not those who choose to define me or put me down.
And I’m so grateful to MEA. It empowered me and I grew because MEA reinforces that we, as modern elders, create our lives on our own terms.
-Mary
Mary Mandell, M.H.Ed., 500-CYT, CLC, is a yoga, breath work, and meditation instructor, Co-Founder of Yoga for Good, which supports the non-profit community, and a Director of Common Ground CS which is dedicated to conflict resolution and creative leadership development, through art, yoga, and storytelling. [email protected] | commongroundcs.org