In grade school, he was told, “You need to have a purpose.” So, he looked for it behind the swings while everyone was playing and in the eaves of the shed near the football field while everyone was cheering. After a while, he thought, “Something must be wrong with me.” In high school, everyone else seemed to have a purpose. Why couldn’t he find his? By the time he was in college, everyone introduced themselves by naming their purpose: I’m going to be a doctor. I’m going to be a pilot. I’m going to be a millionaire. I’m going to be president. This was all confusing. Then, he made friends with someone whose purpose seemed to be in building things. When he watched his friend chisel and sand wood, he could see how happy and engaged he was. He wanted a purpose like that. He wanted to love something that would bring him alive. That spring, on a clear night, he and his friend sat near a fire. The flames were mesmerizing and he wondered, can staring into the flames be a purpose? They sat there for hours and when the fire went out, he could see the brilliant wash of stars surrounding them. Then he knew. His purpose was to outlast the fires we all start, so he could find and love his place in the endless sky that no one built.
Refinding Our Purpose
I wonder, after decades,
If being set in our ways
is arthritis in the mind.
If asking and listening
are the daily exercises
that unstiffen us.
If slowing down and
holding things closer
becomes the way.
Then, the question is:
How do we break up
the calcification of
a lifetime of thought?
-Mark
Mark Nepo is a poet and spiritual adviser who has taught in the fields of poetry and spirituality for over 30 years. He’s well-known for his New York Times #1 bestseller, “The Book of Awakening,” which Oprah chose as one of her “Ultimate Favorite Things” for her farewell season. Mark will be teaching again at MEA Baja Feb 10-15 on the topic of “The Power of Friendship.”