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“You’re Not Hot Anymore, But You’re So Much Warmer.”


A long-time female friend confided in me that she went to her college reunion not long ago and one of her male classmates offered her the observation that serves as today's blog post title. She felt mixed about this as she was a true hottie in the day and had staked her identity on turning heads.

But now, in later middle age, she’d moved into the land of invisibility, a place where many single 55+ women find themselves. I reminded her that hot doesn’t last forever, but warmth is what we remember.

Beyond our looks and our likes (Facebook) are our laughs and our loves. How we connect and enjoy time with those we cherish. My friend could get some butt or brow surgery, but she’s chosen to invest instead in a deeper form of surgery—a figurative sculpting of her heart. To open one’s heart—at any age—is a courageous and beautiful act, which is exactly how we feel the glowing warmth that our hearts emit.

I think it’s time for us all to get over being hot and start focusing on our inner warmth. As Maya Angelou so eloquently put it (with italics added): “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, people will forget how you looked, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

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