It took me three weeks to write this post.
The first 20 days were spent ruminating.
This morning, I knocked out the post.
Writing it wasn’t hard. Beginning it was.
I’ve been thinking lately about how hard it is to begin—especially later in life.
The Modern Elder Academy (MEA) names three stages: ending, messy middle, beginning. In Baja, a facilitator asked a simple question: Which part do you enjoy most? What a crazy question! Who wouldn’t pick the beginning—with its promise of re‑emerging and growth?
And then I realized…I like being in the messy middle—ruminating, plotting and planning. The theater of moving forward while actually staying stuck.
I resist beginning. Maybe you do too.
Five Reasons We Avoid Beginnings:
- Endings can demotivate beginnings.
We worry about what the end will be. What if I pick wrong? Have I figured out the process I need to get there? What if I’m not the (greatest, best, most perfectist) XXX there ever was? Isn’t the goal to be the biggest, the best, the grandest, the greatest? Myself? I’m finding joy in tossing out “scale,” doing micromoments of service that make life better, and trusting the universe to scale them over time.
- “Life is short.”
We fret that choosing “wrong” wastes time and offends our optimizer mindset. We ignore longevity data and assume our lives are shorter than they are. For me? At 58, I could have decades left—hell, I could begin several times over before then! And I can look at this as fun: many, many chances to begin again!
- “Second Act.”
We feel beholden to our past. Me? I “followed all the rules,” had a corner office on Madison Avenue —and guess what? I was miserable. Why play by rules that crowned my unhappiness? I’m choosing what to do next rather than clinging to an advertising career that paid the bills (and little else) for 30 years. Next act, not second act.
- We don’t want to look dumb.
We worry about what people will say—even though no one’s really watching. They’re lost in their own ruminations. I’ve learned joy in being wrong. When I’m wrong, I get to learn. To be wrong is to be growing. And if anyone witnesses it? Cool, let’s learn together!
- We’ve forgotten joy—and how to find it.
It’s been years since we were that 10‑year‑old in the backyard, doing whatever we chose without worrying about jobs, mortgages, expectations. If I pause and listen, I can hear that kid again and invite him out to play. Every chance we get.
So, here’s the metaphor I’ve been thinking about:
You know how, when they start a movie scene, someone brings in the slate—announces the next scene—clicks the boards, and says “action”?
That’s what this moment is for you: the brief pause before the click.
In the movie of your life, this is the scene where things change—the scene that, looking back, you’ll say that’s when it clicked.
But the key? That pause is brief. And then you hear “action!”
And then, ACT.
Before you need to say, “scene.” That’ll be for later.
-David
David Weaver has led an interesting life, but isn’t defining himself by telling you what he’s done anymore. He’s beginning something now—and it’ll be as messy, interesting, and joyful as it needs to be. He’d love to connect with you: [email protected]