– Susan Dominus, The New York Times
Being starved of testosterone for eighteen months as part of my stage-3 prostate cancer medical regimen led me to having many of the physical symptoms of menopause which I documented in this 2023 post, My Manopause. I felt a deep sense of empathy for my female friends and sort of wished my male friends had to go through this, but I was also missing all of the emotional and psychological impacts associated with this normal transition for women. I’ve come to realize that over time as I’ve talked with more and more women about menopause.
What I hear from so many women, especially around ages 40-55, is how exhausting and overwhelming this life stage can be with the “sandwich generation” of caregiving both kids and parents, being stretched at work, noticing the natural deterioration of the face and body (and, quite often, dealing with breast cancer or friends who are dealing with breast cancer), and either being in a marriage that has lost its passion or being newly single.
As one woman said, “You can have all the confidence in the world, and you can be really proud of your achievements, but you still have to load the dishwasher, get the laundry done, and figure out why your knees are aching, when sometimes you just want to sit down quietly at the end of the day and maybe not feel quite so overwhelmed.” And, of course, if you become single during this period, your dating odds can feel challenging given that 50% of women 65 and over are single and only 20% of men that same age are single.
But, it’s not all bad. Margaret Mead, the famous anthropologist, coined the term “post-menopausal zest” to describe the renewed energy and vitality that some women experience after menopause. She believed that menopause, often seen as a time of decline or transition, could actually mark the beginning of a new and exciting phase in a woman’s life. The combination of time affluence, not caring what others think of you, creating more intimate friendships, feeling relieved your body no longer defines you, and embracing a newfound freedom are some of the upsides for women in midlife and later midlife.
As much as I wish I could join my friend Maria Bello and my MEA co-founder Christine Sperber as they lead a Baja workshop March 24-29 called “Rising Together: Women Embracing Change,” I understand why this will be a women-only gathering. You probably know Emmy-nominated actress Maria from her films like “Coyote Ugly” and her TV series like “Beef.” What you may not know is what a badass midlife activist she is and she’s bringing some cool friends of hers – like designers Donna Karan and Carla Rae Prober – to this workshop. This workshop dedicated to sisterhood will fill up soon so don’t dilly-dally.
-Chip