Are You Having a Near-Life Experience?

I see them everywhere: people standing in elevators, at bus stops, in line at grocery stores—their eyes fixated on their phones. 

And yes, I’m guilty of this too. 

I call this having a near-life experience. 

It’s this thing that many of us do . . . when you’re technically alive. Your heart’s beating. But you’re not actually living. You’re just kind of . . . life adjacent. 

You’re on autopilot. 

You go through the motions—work, text, eat, sleep—but you’re not fully present. You’re phoning it in. Literally phoning it in, because you’re on your phone too much.

Here is a partial list of things I’ve missed due to Near Life Experiences.

• The taste of an entire meal I can’t recall eating
• The punchline to a joke that everyone else laughed at
• Approximately 14,993,874,697 moments of being fully present

Here’s the deal: 

Your attention is the most valuable thing you have. And you’re just giving it away.

• “Here you go, TikTok! Here’s three hours of my life.”
• “Hey! Facebook, would you like some of my limited time on Earth? I insist!”
• And Netflix has that “Are you still watching?” feature – which is not so much a feature as an intervention. That’s Netflix going: “Hey… you good, buddy? Maybe drink some water? Call a friend?”

Plus, your attention isn’t simply valuable—it’s the only truly finite resource you have. 

Money can be earned back. Time only moves in one direction. The hourglass doesn’t flip back over. 

We live as though we have unlimited tomorrows, but the truth is:

• Our days are countable, and the counter doesn’t reset.

This isn’t meant to be morbid—though it probably is, a little. 

However, I’m simply sharing this as a loving wake-up call to remind you: Your life has a use-by date. It’s not an endless scroll. 

You’re here. Then you’re not. And it’s up to you to make the “here” part as meaningful as possible.

Here’s How to Swap Near Life for Actual Living 

1. Treat your attention like it’s actual money. Would you hand $20 to every random person who asked? Then why give your attention away to every app that dings? Start being a miser with your mental currency. Be mindful of how you spend your time – from eyes-open to eyes-shut. Intentionally spend it on things that actually matter to YOU. This isn’t selfishness. It’s self-love and self-worth.
2. Try to reduce the digital noise. Create phone-free zones in your home. Have phone-free hours. Remember what it’s like to be bored, to let your mind wander without algorithmic suggestions. Boredom is the space where creativity, insight and wisdom used to live …before we killed it with constant stimulation.
3. Use your mortality as your compass. When you’re about to reach for your phone, ask yourself: “If these were my final hours, is this how I’d want to spend them?” Let the awareness of your finite existence guide you back to what matters. Death isn’t just a great equalizer. It’s a great clarifier.

The truth is brutally simple: 

Your happiness and actual sense of feeling alive depend entirely on where you point your attention. 

Your near-life experiences have gone on long enough. Choose to focus your attention on what matters: the faces of people you love, the feeling of sun on your skin, work that fulfills you, moments of genuine connection. These are the building blocks of a well-lived life, not the ephemeral dopamine hits of digital distraction.

So maybe… I don’t know… put your phone down occasionally? 

It’s not complicated. It’s just really, really hard… like most things that are worth doing.

Ready to stop putting off your life? Grab Karen Salmansohn’s new book, “Your To-Die-For Life,” and start living more boldly. Learn more here.

-Karen

Karen Salmansohn is a bestselling author and leading behavioral change expert with over 2 million books and courses sold, including “How To Be Happy Dammit” and her forthcoming “Your To Die For Life: How To Maximize Joy and Minimize Regret Before Your Time Runs Out” (July 2025). A proud Modern Elder Academy alum, she’s passionate about pioneering the Mortality Awareness Movement, helping people transform their fear of death into motivation to live more boldly and authentically. For more info visit yourtodieforlife.com