My favorite chapter in my book “Learning to Love Midlife” is about the Hero’s Journey and how the better we understand our life narrative, the happier and more productive life we enjoy. We’ve just announced that I will be offering a special workshop on “Discovering the Hero’s Journey in Midlife” starting two weeks from today in Santa Fe (Sept 1-6). And, beyond the fact that we’re charging MEA’s lowest fee for any workshop I’m teaching this year, we’ll also offer a free 1:1 thirty-minute coaching session with me for each person coming.
As I outline in chapter 7 of my book, here’s my Hero’s Journey and each of the component parts.
My starting point is the “Conduit” at the top of the circle. This is my default setting when life is good: to be a conduit of catalytic ideas. Whether it’s my writing, my business ideas, or my intuition about people, when I’m at my best, I have an ability to tap into the zeitgeist to the point people call me a “zeitgeist surfer.” Having created this diagram, I now know that I need to better understand what conditions allow me to be the best conduit.
- Calling: When my channel is open, my connection to the collective consciousness is 5 bars full of spiritual wifi. It is in those times that I often feel called by an idea or premonition. My problem isn’t picking up the call. It’s occasionally having too many calls coming in at the same time and trying to distinguish between which ones to focus my love and attention on. I’m Lily Tomlin’s Ernestine character, the wry switchboard operator.
- Passion: Once I answer the call, the raw potential of the idea stirs a passion in me, an energy to engage with this calling even if it wakes me up out of my comfortable world. I love it when I feel this current flowing through my veins, especially now, in midlife, an era that many consider a time of dormancy.
- Sacrifice: The film “The Passion of the Christ” demonstrated that the natural outgrowth of this passion is a willingness to sacrifice. This is where the liminal stage of the Hero’s Journey begins. In the modern world, making a sacrifice sounds like self-inflicted suffering or loss, but I see it as synonymous with devotion, an opportunity to pledge my loyalty and enthusiasm to something bigger than myself.
- One-Dimensional Focus: This is where I drop below the surface of what’s familiar and things can start getting dicey. My habitual tendency is to become so focused on this new passion that I can neglect other parts of my life. This is when I start hearing (and trying to drown-out) the voices of friends and family who wonder if I’ve lost my marbles. But, at this stage of the journey, I feel like I’ve found my midlife marbles.
- Treadmill: Then, because I’m a bit of an achievement addict, I tend to jump on the treadmill and start running towards this calling. My ambition kicks in, and I keep turning up the speed. I’m a classic entrepreneur who doesn’t know his limits until he’s surpassed them. I live by the spirit of the children’s book, “The Little Engine That Could:” “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…”
- “Can Do It” Hero: At the bottom of this cycle, my rugged individualist ego emerges big-time. For those of you who know the 3 on the Enneagram, this is me, fully-amped like a locomotive. The problem with this point in my journey can be summed up by the African proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I can start being out of sync with my team. I have an existential impatience with everyone including myself.
- “Spent” vs “Invested:” When I’m living my calling and feeling my purpose, I have intense stamina and a high threshold for pain – that is, until I hit the occasional wall and realize how exhausted I am. That’s when I wonder whether I’m “spent” or “invested” with respect to this endeavor. I always hope that I’m invested, but on a bad day, I feel spent. And, it’s in those spent moments that I hit my nadir found at point 8 on this journey.
- Resentment: This is when the resentment can start seeping-in. Why am I the one having to do this, that or the other? Why can’t others keep up with me or do more? This is when I become the victim, a role I loathe in myself and others. You’ve heard of “Mercury in retrograde,” right? This is my “circuitry in retrograde.” This is me at my worst.
- Recovery: Assuming I’m self-aware enough to know what’s going on (or co-workers or friends clue me in), I look for ways to recover my sense of energy and intention, often by retreating from others and doing things that bring me back to life – physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is when I ramp-up my meditation practice and my awe walks.
- Renewal: Hopefully, at this stage, I’m seeing the fruits of all the labor. Even if I’m not returning home triumphant, I feel like I’m coming back a changed man with all of the new wisdom I’ve accumulated in the process and the hope that I will be even wiser on my next adventure. This is a perfect time to reflect on my adventure and metabolize my experience.
- Curiosity: Finally, I have the time and space to be curious, and the whole miraculous process can start again. Long ago, explorers went searching for the fountain of youth, but what I seek is the fountain of curiosity as that’s always the wellspring of my creativity and joy.
- “Conduit:” From “Conduit” to “Can do it” to “Conduit” over and over. This is a common pattern in my life. When I shift from “can do it” to conduit, I don’t feel like I’m working anymore. I’m flowing. I am the “conducted,” not the conductor.
Until I was able to plot my story like this, I didn’t quite understand how often I lived this pattern and how much my shadow lurked underneath the surface. I now see that this is a miraculous journey that I’ve felt guided on multiple times in my life. And, now that I have uncovered some of the shadow parts of my Hero’s Journey, I hope that I can make the next journey feel less treacherous.
By coming to this workshop, you will create your own version of a Hero’s Journey diagram and story and I can promise you this will unlock your wisdom like almost nothing else you’ve ever done. Hope to see you two weeks from now.
-Chip