My story is not unique. Like many people who find their way to the Modern Elder Academy, I too had a midlife crisis–or what I now call a “chrysalis,” thanks to MEA’s reframe.
The back story: I’ve spent my entire career focusing on social impact. I’ve founded several nonprofits, published books, consulted to impact organizations, served on boards, and co-founded and run a philanthropic advising firm helping wealthy individuals and foundations with their giving. My life has been rich with purpose, but the constant giving of myself for 30 years left me drained and depleted.
Four years ago, I hit my own midlife crisis. Like many women in their 50’s, I found myself parenting a teenager through mental health challenges, tending to aging parents, and going through menopause. This was all while remodeling our home and steering my clients and company through the pandemic. My husband, Elliott, was CEO of a tech startup at Google, working exhausting hours and traveling frequently. Needless to say, something had to give–it turns out it was me!
In 2022, I left my firm and stepped back from my career, which had defined my identity since college. It felt like jumping off a cliff with no safety net. I took a year off to focus on family and health, and contemplate my next steps. Then, in 2023, I had the opportunity to attend the Modern Elder Academy in Baja with Elliott, just as we were becoming new empty nesters.
Getting to spend a week at MEA was pivotal for us both. We had time to reflect and discuss our shared vision for the future–surrounded by physical beauty, supported by a strong curriculum, nurtured by healthy food, and in the company of peers. We both had epiphanies: mine was to find more joy and balance in my work, and to focus on the inner journey of women donors and leaders. Elliott’s ah-ha was to realize that he couldn’t sustain the pace of being a startup CEO much longer.
We both wanted greater happiness and less stress: more being, less doing. And having recently lost several friends to illness, we didn’t want to wait until 65 or 70 to enjoy our lives. So over the past year, we began making important shifts: Elliott planned an exit for his startup, and transitioned to advising entrepreneurs and serving on boards. I began experimenting with a more flexible “portfolio life,” working with women donors. We also looked into year-long programs like Stanford’s Distinguished Careers Institute, seeking an immersive experience for this transition.
Last fall, we made an even bigger life pivot. Elliott, who is British, was offered a Visiting Fellowship at Cambridge University, where he had done his undergrad and PhD three decades ago. In November, we made an offer on a charming 400-year-old thatch-roofed cottage in a nearby village, and then moved to the U.K. in February. And in a moment of serendipity, I learned about the brand new Better Futures Program at Cambridge, modeled on similar programs elsewhere. I applied and was accepted to the inaugural cohort for this coming fall (hint: applications are open until early June!).
So far, life in the U.K. is proving exactly the new chapter we both needed. As I embrace the term “modern elder,” and pivot to working with women donors and leaders, I’m finding joy, purpose, and better life balance. It turns out my best years aren’t just ahead of me–they are starting right now.
-Heather
Heather McLeod Grant is a philanthropy advisor, best-selling author, and serial entrepreneur with 30+ years of leadership in social impact. She’s currently working on a book about women and giving, is a fellow with the National Center for Family Philanthropy, and runs McLeod-Grant Advisors.