At first glance, they seem like separate trends.
They’re not.
They’re part of the same quiet revolution.
Let’s start with the dating article.
We’re seeing a shift where younger men are increasingly drawn to older women—not as a fetish, but as a preference. Why? Emotional maturity, clarity, less game-playing. In a dating world where many young people aren’t even dating much at all, the appeal of someone who knows who they are is magnetic.
Translation: experience is becoming sexy.
Now layer in the second article.
Women are also redefining beauty as they age—not as something to fight, but something to inhabit. And yet, we still live inside a culture with a deep double standard of aging, where women’s value has historically declined with time while men’s value often increases.
That script is breaking.
Then, there’s the third article which highlights how many older women were on the runway at fashion shows this spring. Here’s an excerpt from the article.
“It’s a striking shift in an industry that has long been famous for fetishizing youth. And it stands out in a world where viewers are inundated with images in which every sign of age — every wrinkle, hollow, age spot — has been filled in, tightened, filtered, lifted or otherwise erased. Speculating on the work someone has had done, even someone in her early 30s, has become a parlor game everyone can play, and artificial intelligence has made constant modification and reinvention a part of our visual diet. There’s a backlash brewing to the airbrushed age.”
Put the three together and you get something profound:
Older women are no longer waiting to be chosen.
They’re choosing.
They’re choosing partners.
They’re choosing how to define beauty.
They’re choosing how to age.
Here’s my takeaway:
For decades, midlife for women was framed as a narrowing.
Now it’s starting to look like an expansion.
More voice.
More agency.
More truth.
More power.
-Chip
P.S. Thanks to Wisdom Well reader Linda Pedelty for introducing me to this lovely poem called “In Lieu of Flowers” by Shawna Lemay (Mom would have loved this).
Although I love flowers very much, I won’t see them when I’m gone. So in lieu of flowers: Buy a book of poetry written by someone still alive, sit outside with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently.
Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals.
Really look at it.
Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love.
Or, Champagne. And think of what John Maynard Keynes said, “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne.” Or what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: “Come quickly! I am tasting stars!”
Take out a paint set and lay down some colours.
Watch birds. Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. Geese are nice. Robins.
In lieu of flowers, walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope it’s crisp.
Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals.
Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name.
If it’s winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If it’s summer, a big glass of ice water.
If it’s autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. I’d like that.
Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write some other things down.
In lieu of flowers,
I would wish for you to flower.
I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful.