At the Modern Elder Academy, we learn that transformation rarely comes in a tidy package. More often, it arrives in the form of the messy middle—that liminal space where the old has ended but the new hasn’t fully arrived. It’s disorienting, humbling, and holy. It’s also where we’re more likely to brush up against our ikigai—the place where what we love, what we’re good at, what the world needs, and what we can offer all converge.
It was in that liminal space that The Book of Modern Ceremony: Practices to Mark Life’s Big and Small Moments was conceived.
I arrived at MEA in Baja in 2023 with a full heart and an open question: What is my true purpose now? I had just left a long-held career, stepping away from a role and identity I had outgrown but didn’t yet know how to replace. I was, in every sense, in transition.
In our sessions, as we explored purpose and essence, I kept hearing a refrain in my head: I am here to bring ceremony back into the world.
One day, while sharing about a book I had started writing, just for me—a guide for how to create modern-day ceremonies that connect us to nature, spirit, and each other—a woman sitting next to me turned and said, “I’m a literary agent. I love this idea, and I think we can sell it.”
I nearly fell off my chair.
That moment, in that circle, in the midst of my own messy middle, changed everything. That’s the MEA magic. When we slow down enough to ask real questions, the universe has a way of answering. That literary agent, Laura Yorke, soon connected me with Mary Ellen O’Neill at Workman Publishing (an imprint of Hachette)—and The Book of Modern Ceremony was on its way into the world.
The Book That Chose Me
The idea for The Book of Modern Ceremony first whispered to me in 2020, during the chaos of the pandemic. I had joined the School of the Sacred Wild to study herbalism, but it was the ceremonies—beautiful, intentional gatherings on Zoom—that changed me. Even across distance, I felt completely present, connected, and alive. I wasn’t learning something new; I was remembering something ancient.
After that, I looked for more. I searched for a modern, accessible book on ceremony—something soulful but practical—and found very little. That’s when the idea began visiting me. Not just an idea, really… more like a presence, just how MEA angel Elizabeth Gilbert describes in Big Magic.
I didn’t set out to write a book. I wasn’t trying to become an author. I was simply called to be a channel. My job was to listen, to stay open, and to show up each day in devotion to the message that wanted to come through.
Letting the Old Identity Die
As I wrote, I had to let go of who I thought I was, the same process we went through at MEA when we burned a limiting belief. An old version of me had to die a little, to make space for something less certain and more heart-led.
I gave myself permission to write the book just for myself, trusting the process. I saw it clearly: a guide that made ceremony accessible, set up like a recipe book, inviting people of all backgrounds to mark life’s transitions with intention. It would include ceremonies for grief, birthdays, menopause, moving house, seasonal shifts, and more.
An Invitation
The Book of Modern Ceremony: Practices to Mark Life’s Big and Small Moments will be released tomorrow, September 2. It’s filled with 32 ceremonies and practices to help readers slow down, reconnect, and make meaning. It’s not about perfection or performance—it’s about presence. And it’s built on the deep belief that ceremony is our birthright. We have simply forgotten.
Writing it meant moving through imposter syndrome, surrendering to the unknown, and trusting that this work was needed—not by everyone, but by someone. Maybe by you.
I hope The Book of Modern Ceremony finds its way to your hands and your heart—and becomes a companion for your next becoming.
Preorder widely available now at shariboyer.com
When you pre-order through Hachette, you can receive 20% off just for MEA until the end of the day tomorrow using the code CEREMONY.
-Shari
Shari Dunbar Boyer is an author and ceremonialist who is helping the world to reclaim the power of ceremony. She resides and tends land in beautiful Altadena, California with her husband Chris and a connected community.