Turning 50, Gabrielle started the trend of MEA alums celebrating their birthdays in Baja and Santa Fe with friends, either in a public workshop or a private retreat. If you have a landmark birthday coming up, you might enjoy this Wall Street Journal article about taking an Extreme Vacation at 25, 50, or 75. In the meantime, I think you’ll enjoy this beautiful guest post from Gabrielle.
I turned 50 in August 2024—and celebrated at MEA with seven of my favorite humans. Thank you, Chip! And yet, calling myself “Gen X” or “Midlife” still feels weird. Maybe I’m in denial. Or maybe my brain is still catching up to my biological age.
Since crossing this threshold, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand where I am and who I’m becoming. I’ve done it through pilgrimages, plant medicine ceremonies, building earthships, writing two books, and breaking down just about every belief system I was raised with. It hasn’t been easy—but it’s been honest.
What I didn’t expect was how, after sharing my stories, others opened up to me about their thoughts, feelings and experiences – in tentative whispers, like they were testing the waters to see if it was safe to be seen.
I find that many Gen X folks are caught in a tension between wanting to be visible and authentic… and a deep conditioning to stay hidden, hyper-independent and “appropriate.”
Since writing openly about my personal transformation, I’ve noticed a few common threads among people my age:
1. We Were Taught to Be Tough, Not Tender We were raised in a culture that prized grit, hustle, and pushing through—no matter what. We didn’t cry, we coped. We didn’t fall apart, we kept going. So now, when this transition asks for softness or vulnerability—it can feel unfamiliar, unsafe, or even shameful.
2. Repression Was Normalized We weren’t taught how to process emotions. We were taught how to suppress them, or pretend they didn’t exist. Opening that door now—especially in midlife—can seem terrifying. Like if we really let ourselves feel our feelings, we might die.
3. Being Seen is a Big Risk Visibility—especially our flaws and mistakes—can feel like exposure. It’s not just the fear of being judged; it’s the fear of being “too much” or “not enough.” We’ve internalized messages like: Don’t be weird. Don’t be a drama queen. So yes, stepping into authenticity or self-expression can feel like falling off a cliff.
4. The Myth of Self-Reliance We were taught to figure it out alone. Asking for help meant weakness. Many of us have never experienced true emotional safety in relationships—so it still feels unfamiliar. But real transformation asks us to take off our masks, ask for support and be witnessed by others.
So what happens when we do that?
For me, one of those moments occurred at MEA. I brought a group of friends to the Santa Fe campus to celebrate my birthday, and it turned into something way deeper than I imagined. Yes, the environment was stunning. The food, the staff, and the programming exceeded expectations. But what really got me was how loved I felt. The safety of the container made it easy to drop in and share genuine feelings.
It felt like being far away from the familiar, but also… like coming home.
MEA gave me a space to be instead of do. To slow down. To remember. And I can’t think of a better way to honor turning 50 than by giving that gift to the people I love.
Not long ago marks the one-year anniversary of winning the Life Begins @50 contest and meeting Chip at SXSW. A lot has shifted since then—but one thing hasn’t: I’m still devoted to helping people tell the truth about who they are and what they’ve lived through. Because I believe midlife isn’t the end of the story—it’s the part where we stop pretending and start paying attention.
The more I talk to others in my generation, the more I realize: we’re not alone. We’ve just been trying to navigate the confusion in isolation, thinking it was something personal, feeling like we were doing something ‘wrong.’ That’s simply not true.
The truth is: most of us don’t need more advice.
We need more spaces where it’s safe to feel, to speak, and to be witnessed.
We need to see the water we’ve been swimming in.
We need to remember that our frustration is valid—and it’s a doorway, not a dead end.
We need to listen to that inner voice, the one nudging us to rest or play or write – because it will reconnect us to what’s real.
And that’s what really matters.
-Gabrielle
Gabrielle Pelicci, PhD, is an author, writing coach, and mentor to Gen Xers. She helps people tell honest stories that heal, connect, and transform.