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Who Knew 200 Pounds Would be an Aspiration?


April 7, 2025
I grew up skinny. My high school water polo coach called me “bird legs.” My metabolism was a sprinter. As I put on a little muscle, I looked pretty good. My weight in college hovered around 175 pounds and I was known as the “lean, mean Conley machine” by a couple of fraternity brothers.

As I moved into my 20s and 30s, I worked out regularly (I came out as a gay man at 22 so this was par for the course as the gym was our church), chiseled my body, and consistently weighed 182 pounds. I didn’t feel skinny any more – I had a 6-pack.

In my 50s, I learned that a 6-pack is more expensive as you age. It takes a lot of time to maintain it. But, I was single for the first time in 20 years and I was working in the Land of Millennials (Airbnb), so I was able to keep my weight at 185, but it took a lot of work to look like my young co-workers. 

In my late 50s, happily married to Oren (after we’d been together earlier from 1989-2000), I grew addicted to chocolate and drank a little too much alcohol. Yes, at 57, I learned that I had stage-1 prostate cancer so I moved back to a “food as medicine” regimen….that is, until Covid. During the pandemic, I drank like a fish and ate all that good cooking at the MEA campus in Baja.

Then, a couple of years ago, I found out I was at stage-3 cancer as it had metastasized so I went on hormone depletion therapy (a form of “manopause”) which led me to gaining 20 pounds, so I crossed the dreaded 200 pound threshold. I flirted with cutting back on alcohol and food so I could party like I was 199, but my willpower didn’t usually hold for longer than a few weeks. I assumed that once I’d finished my two years of the medical wiping out my testosterone, my weight would gradually make it back to 185.

I stopped hormone depletion therapy a few months ago and weighed in at the doctors a month ago at 212 pounds. Ouch! That’s when I realized that this rental vehicle, my body, deserved better attention and love. It had grown from a sedan to an SUV (a Sizably Unmissable Vehicle). I’ve not had any alcohol for nearly a month and, while not svelte, I’m starting to hover back around 200. I used to be a consistent 34 waist when it comes to pants and ballooned up to 38. I’ll probably be back to a solid 36 by the end of this month. 

In sum, I’ve never really worried about my weight because, in my time-stunted mind, I still thought I was that skinny kid. And, then I saw a few photos of me recently and realized that I’m the kid with a lot of skin, especially around my gut. The good news is that I can laugh about this and I don’t feel much vanity around my body. Now, I’m more focused on the long-term maintenance of my rental vehicle.

How has your relationship with your body and weight evolved as you’ve gotten older?

-Chip

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