I am Charlie Bucket.


September 5, 2021
Oh, how I loved Roald Dahl’s book “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” as a kid. Yes, it was a story about how avarice, gluttony, envy, and all kinds of other deadly sins proved to be, well, deadly. And, of course, Charlie was the perfect little boy to which I aspired. But it was really the chocolate I was after!

The fact is, I was always looking for a back-alley chocolate pusher, my own Willy Wonka. I was (and still am) a chocolate junkie. There, I said it! But, of course, my metabolism was much more active during adolescence than it is now. Of course, I haven’t let that slow me down.

Nowadays, because of my reputation as “Chocolate Chip,” I have MEA visitors show up bearing dark chocolate with raspberries and sea salt. I feel a little buzz even before I grab it from their hands. Chocolate has replaced sex as my primary vice. The problem is that at least sex worked off a few pounds.

I’ll close with a quote from Rodney Dangerfield, who may have studied the relationship between sexuality and longevity when he said, “I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”

Where’s today’s wisdom, you ask? It’s in the chocolate, of course, and I’m happy to keep digging into that well to find more—no need to thank me.

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