“All you need is love…” sang the Beatles, and we all swayed along, starry-eyed and hopeful, convinced that love was the ultimate magic elixir. But here’s the thing: as catchy as the tune is, the lyrics are kind of a lie. Love is essential—yes! But love alone doesn’t build a life, pay the bills, raise the kids, or navigate heartbreak. Not by a long shot.
If love alone made relationships last, we wouldn’t be seeing sky-high divorce rates—50% for first marriages, 62% for second, and a whopping 71% for third. Clearly, there’s more to lasting love than butterflies and passion.
I used to believe in fairy tales. But life, and relationships, taught me to dig deeper.
Imagine falling in love with a house. It’s adorable from the outside, located on a charming street, and gives you all the feels. But once you get inside, you discover rotting floorboards, faulty plumbing, and a leaky roof. Would you move in without an inspection? Of course not.
So why do we treat relationships differently?
The real secret to thriving love isn’t just who you’re with—it’s how you’re with them. It’s about emotional maturity, shared values, and doing the (sometimes messy) work of loving someone well. It’s about choosing each other, again and again, even when life throws curveballs.
At this stage of life—where wisdom whispers louder than impulse—it’s time to stop chasing the fantasy and embrace the magic of real, grown-up love. Not just the swoony, “you complete me” kind, but the kind built on truth, trust, and deep compatibility. The kind where you feel safe being your most authentic self—and where the bathroom door doesn’t always have to be closed.
At the Modern Elder Academy, we talk about growing whole, not just growing old. To me, this means tossing out the old rulebook of romance and rewriting love on our terms.
So here’s the new love manifesto for us modern elders:
- Love is not just a feeling, it’s a behavior, a choice, an action.
- Conflict is not a dealbreaker—it’s a doorway to intimacy.
- It’s never too late to learn how to love better—or be loved better.
If your heart has been broken, bruised, or just plain bored, know this: it’s not over. You haven’t missed your chance. Real love—the kind that grows you—is always available when you’re willing to show up fully and let go of outdated fantasies.
Love isn’t all you need. But with a good foundation, a few upgraded tools, and a whole lot of humor… it might just be enough.
-Arielle
Arielle Ford is the author of 12 books, including The Love Thief—a new, romantic, spiritual thriller coming out on Tuesday that rips the veil off fairy tale love, exposes the soul lessons hiding in heartbreak, and reminds you that love isn’t here to complete you—it’s here to enchant, unravel, and cosmic reinvention. www.thelovethief.com www.arielleford.com