Life is one big noble experiment. When you experiment, you don’t fail…you learn and, boy, did I learn in our first “Golden Girls, Santa Fe Style workshop” this past weekend. The point of our 3-day weekend was to discuss the variety of ways we can live as we age, but it was also to feel a sense of camaraderie with like-minded souls. We hiked, we Spacruzzied in the pond, we rode horses, we walked the galleries of Canyon Road, we dipped into the Ten Thousand Waves hot springs, we enjoyed a meal at the local fav Fina, and – most importantly – we toured the first two Golden Girls homes near the MEA campus (one 6-bedroom, one 3-bedroom), both of which are being renovated and furnished in MEA’s distinctive style.
There was a lot of enthusiasm about the amenities associated with being near an MEA campus: free and discounted workshop attendance, free use of the ranch gym, use of the hiking and biking trails, potlucks with MEA faculty members, and book clubs, movie nights, pickleball pals, and group community service. There was also a sense that this kind of living could allow people to stay curious, feel connected, have a sense of purpose, and be healthy, all of which positively influence wellness and longevity and give people a sense of being able to live a deeper, more meaningful life.
Here are my top four lessons:
- The Full-Bodied “Yes” and Yet… Women have been talking about living together later in life for decades, often with their college girlfriends, so there’s a primal “yes” from many Boomer and GenX women about this concept. But, there’s also some fear. Will I lose my independence or privacy? How do we arrive at common principles and solve conflicts? How do we weave MEA values into the experience? What if one of the “boommates” contracts a chronic, debilitating illness? As enthusiastic as this group is, there was a sense that breaking out of one’s current comfort requires an adventurous spirit and the ability to test a new form of community before making a big commitment.
- Homemate Selection is Key. The appeal of the concept is balanced by a caution of what happens if you’re in a home with the wrong people or culture. So, creating a process for selecting “boommates” is essential. It helps quite a bit if an already-committed group comes to MEA, whether they’re college girlfriends or women who got to know each other in an MEA workshop or regional MEA alumni chapter or in a Golden Girls program like this past weekend. A process chart was created for how people go through a series of interviews and five values were identified as being core to any MEA community housing: respect and acceptance, integrity and trust, growth and curiosity, connection and communication, and purpose and joy.
- So Many Choices… Almost everyone had a distaste for traditional retirement communities and was looking for new choices and we discussed the wide variety of options from co-housing like MEA’s Baja Sage regenerative community of townhomes around a farm to tiny homes with attached communal facilities to rental co-living homes to fractional ownership homes on campus to opening existing MEA alums’ homes to homesharing with other alums to membership-oriented holiday houses around the world. It was energizing to see how many options this wise group was able to explore and there was a sense that this pioneering effort could be a catalyst for MEA to teach others (including developers) how to create new housing communities globally through a certification program.
- Diversity vs. Affinity. There was a healthy tension between wanting to live in a home or community with people who are different (including socioeconomically) with gravitating to people who are similar. Some homes might prize diversity (including intergenerational housemates or men and couples living with the women) while others might have an affinity-based attraction based upon allowing pets, being vegetarian, being artists, being in transition in one’s life, or being older and needing some extra caregiving.
We continue to move forward with the first two co-living homes in nearby Lamy and Eldorado, subdividing four lots on the ranch and building a new fractional ownership home on the MEA Baja campus (you’ll see a new MEA Homes section on the MEA website). I’m struck by the following: when you’re doing something pioneering, even when you’ve built trust by focusing on MEA alums in this community-building, you need to give people the opportunity to “try before you buy.” The workshop was a helpful path as it gave these women a sense of whether they felt connected to those who are interested (our next Golden Girls weekend is April 2-5 in Santa Fe). But, it also means that people want to try out living in a home for, maybe, six months before making a longer-term commitment.
Finally, it became clear that the first two homes should have different focuses: the three-bedroom home will focus on affordable, long-term living (called a SageHouse) and the six-bedroom home will focus on women who have more disposable income and possibly another home who feel like they’re in the midst of a transition (called a ChrysalisHouse). A SageHouse offers stability. A ChrysalisHouse offers adventure. So, two new MEA housing brands were born out of this workshop with the SageHouse being available this March and the ChrysalisHouse being available in June. Thanks so much to these bold souls who pioneered our first Golden Girls workshop weekend.
-Chip