The most popular Wisdom Well posts

In mid-February, I told y’all about my cancer spreading to my lymphs. I’ve been on hormone depletion therapy since that time which has all of the side effects of a woman’s menopause experience: hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, testy emotions, fatigue, weight gain, and - for me - occasional anxiety attacks.

“Purpose is the middle of the compass. It’s the arrow pointing to the true north; the values are the four cardinal points (north, south, east, and west). Values serve as the roadmap to tell us how we will achieve the purpose. They guide and tell us how to make decisions. Purpose and values together increase engagement, someone’s willingness to make a strong contribution to work.” - Anne Loehr

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what qualities define a wise leader in the 21st century. Before I share my list, let’s define some terms. I believe wisdom is “metabolized experience that leads to distilled compassion.” It’s not just learning from your mistakes; it’s assuring your mistakes (which lead to your wisdom) serve a social good.

You know that moment when you see someone you haven't seen in 30-40 years, and you can't place their name? It's okay if you're at a reunion because at least you have name tags.

“Not embarrassed.” That is the definition of “unabashed.” That word may define this era more than any other. It makes me sad. Not because I want to cast shame on anyone, but because the world could use a little more self-reflection and humility.

After I’d sold my boutique hotel company Joie de Vivre, a wise older man said to me, “Create space and see what emerges.” While sage advice, embracing the void has always been scary for me. Silence and an empty calendar used to freak me out!

In an era when Americans are arguing about life beginning at conception or first breath, I would suggest adult life begins at the half-century mark. It’s when the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis.

My meditation teacher Salliji told me, “As soon as a person does not take his or her existence for granted, magic appears.” Salliji taught me meditation and pranayama breathing techniques up until her mid-80s. She brought more peace to me by teaching me that my life would follow my breath. Shallow breathing leads to a superficial life. Agitated breathing leads to agitation. And, of course, peaceful breathing leads to peace.

You know the guy I'm talking about. He's the brainiac or the walking encyclopedia who recites arcane facts but has no idea what "man-splaining" means. He's the one who knows Albert Einstein's birthday but forgets his own wedding anniversary. He's the "knowledge worker" who desperately could use a "wisdom worker" by his side when it comes to understanding humans.

One difference between being 25 and 50 is that the older you are, the more life you've lived and the more patterns you've witnessed. Teasing out our life narrative from the disparate experiences we've encountered helps create some meaning in our lives. If we're listening and attentive, hopefully, that life wisdom will serve us in the future.