and walk back

it all happens once

but if I could

if I could convince time
to retrace its steps
tell it it forgot something over there
and it believe me

tell it that there was this girl
I should've treated better

that love is a better word
in my mouth these days

that there is a letter I wrote
I hid it between my pride
and lack of confidence

I would tell time
that there is a teacher I loved
and never said thank you

and a teacher I hated
and never said thank you
or I'm sorry

if I could tell time
that I've learned how to shadowbox with fear
and hell yeah I’m scared

but I’m not afraid
there’s a difference

I would tell time
it is a waste
to want everyone to like you

all we ever have is a fistful of friends
like fingers decades to count on

if I tell time
that there was a class I cut
that I want to sew back together

that I want to bring a Band-Aid
rubbing alcohol and my brain back to

that I could tape
superglue
something
I'd be there I'd show up
I could put it back together

I know I could put it back together

if I could tell time
that I would raise my hand
not being afraid that everyone
would think I am smart

that I would raise my hand
not being afraid that everyone
would think I am dumb

if I could tell time
that there are broken pieces
i need to pick up

you know some shattered glass
and dropped promises
things that crack
when we don't hold them tight enough

I don't understand why it's hands
don't hold things tight enough

but I can't tell time
nothing that it would hear

i can only stare at its face
to see what time has to tell me

so when I glance at my watch
realize that this will only happen once

I choose to live full to die empty
because who knows when it’ll be the last chance…

that we have

Marshall Davis Jones is the founder of MindBodySpeak, is a communication expert, and a recent grad of MEA’s “Bajaties” cohort that focused on Love, Death and Human Connection.