For decades, “empty nesting” has been shorthand for a moment of closure — the kids are grown, independent, and out in the world.
But today’s reality is far more complex.
Between rising housing costs, delayed career starts, mental health challenges, and a shifting social contract around adulthood, millions of young people are navigating what developmental psychologists now call emerging adulthood. Coined by psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett around the year 2000, this term describes a prolonged, exploratory phase between ages 18 and 28.
As Dr. Stacie Foster from Arizona State University puts it:
“We need to stop thinking of 18 as a finish line. It’s not a launchpad anymore. It’s a bridge.”
The New Landscape of Parenting Young Adults
This is not your parent’s nest. Parenthood has evolved in ways our own parents could never have imagined — from traditional couples to single parents, blended families, and bonus-parents. Men are more deeply engaged in parenting than ever before, and the transition to an empty nest now touches fathers as much as mothers.
As a mother of four and an empty nester myself, I’ve watched my children take vastly different paths: one moved to Europe for medical school, another attended community college for photography and film, one left school to start a business, and one pursued a master’s in architectural engineering. Some left home and returned — more than once. It’s a far cry from my own experience of leaving at 18 and never moving back.
Through my work as partner and Chief Content Officer at MEA (Modern Elder Academy), I’ve met thousands of adults in life transition. Many were navigating some stage of empty nesting — yet resources for this life stage are surprisingly scarce. Unlike pregnancy or early childhood, there’s no “what to expect” manual once kids turn 18.
And yet, this isn’t a single moment in time. It’s a spectrum — often a decade-long transition — that deserves its own roadmap.
From Syndrome to Season
The phrase “empty nest syndrome” dates back to 1914, when author Dorothy Canfield Fisher used it to describe depression after the last child left home. The term was popularized in the 1970s and framed as a set of symptoms requiring intervention. But modern research, and the lived experiences of many parents, tell a different story.
Most parents today report relief and freedom alongside feelings of loss. Rather than a syndrome, I see this as a season — one that deserves nuance, compassion, and a new narrative.
I call it the Final Decade of Parenting: a rich season of growth, change, and gradual transition for everyone involved.
The Final Decade: A New Framework
The Final Decade isn’t always a literal ten years. It’s a symbolic span — usually from your child’s mid-teens to their late twenties — when your role shifts from rule-setting to presence. It’s a long runway of:
- Soft goodbyes
- Shifting boundaries
- Emotional recalibration
- Gradual rediscovery of self
This chapter is as much about our transformation as parents as it is about our children’s journey into adulthood.
Why the Old Roadmap No Longer Works
We grew up believing adulthood began at 18: move out, get a job, start a family, never look back. That model no longer reflects reality.
According to the Pew Research Center (2023), 52% of young adults (ages 18–29) live with their parents. Driving factors include:
- Student debt and rising living costs
- Delayed marriage and family formation
- Job market instability
- Post-pandemic mental health needs
With over 45 million Americans carrying student loans averaging $37,000 each and median rents in many cities topping $2,000/month, launching at 18 is no longer the norm.
It’s time for a new script – not just for our kids, but for ourselves.
That’s why I’m excited to launch Thriving In Your Empty Nest Chapter, MEA’s first-ever four-week immersion program for parents looking for tools and support to help them navigate their child’s launch decade.
If you want to approach this chapter with more clarity, confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose – while also connecting with other parents walking a similar path – I’d love for you to join us.
Click here to learn more about Thriving in Your Empty Nest Chapter Masterclass