The Legacy We’re Buildin’
We traded in sleep for the joy of buildin’,
Tired eyes, full hearts—life with children.
The house was chaos, the days a blur,
But purpose pulsed in each “yes sir.”
They cried, they climbed, they spilled the milk,
They shattered peace, then wrapped us in silk.
And though each day felt far from chillin’,
We shaped our souls while raising children.
Now the rooms are quiet, the silence wide,
But echoes of meaning swell with pride.
For in the storm we found our thrillin’,
The love, the loss, the life we’re buildin’.
Raising children decreases short-term happiness, but it often increases a sense of purpose and life satisfaction in the long run. A 2014 study published in Psychological Science found that parents reported fewer moment-to-moment positive emotions and more stress compared to non-parents—but also reported greater meaning in life.
Similarly, a 2021 Harvard study revealed that while child-rearing years can be emotionally and logistically taxing—especially when kids are young—empty nesters often report greater well-being and fulfillment later in life due to the deep relationships and legacy their children represent. In essence, kids may create chaos in the present, but they contribute to a deeper sense of coherence and value in life’s overall arc.
So, what do we do in the short-term when your kids are wreaking havoc? Consider this. For every one child you have at home, schedule a minimum of one hour of guilt-free, time-evaporating joy per week. Get a massage. Take a walk in nature by yourself. How about a bubble bath and a book? Go to your guitar class. Play tennis with your best friend.
Impossible, you say? You’re a single parent raising three kids? Yes, the odds are more difficult when you’re a single parent and the more kids, the more lovely distractions and interruptions you’re dealing with. But, where there’s a will, there’s a way. There are friends, baby sitters, family members, and others who can help. You deserve one hour per kid per week doing something that puts you in a state of joy.
Try it. Create an accounting sheet to make sure you’re doing it (and you add an extra hour next week if you didn’t get to take an hour this week). You deserve it. And, just remember, in the long run, you’ll have a smile on your face and heart.
-Chip