Steven replied, “If we’re lucky, we’ll all get older, but only a few of us will become a true elder.” I laughed it off, but within a half-dozen years, I was crowned the “modern elder” at Airbnb and ultimately wrote about how I DIYed my elder training in my book, Wisdom@Work: The Making of a Modern Elder.
Recently, I’ve come to see that becoming an elder is an emergent state, just like Emerging Adulthood. But, unlike Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood when younger people are going through a series of firsts all at about the same time, Emerging Elderhood is a time of life that transcends the concept of a social clock. It is a transition that is associated with people going through massive changes at quite varied times, but it frequently ends in enhanced well-being. It’s a time ripe for confusion, especially since our roles are not as age-synced as they used to be. I know this as a 64-year-old dad with sons 13 and 10.
Last week, we launched our two-day Emerging Elder Masterclass (which will be available as an on-demand digital product soon). I wanted to do a quick recap of the highlights of the 12 thought leaders who graced the digital stage with me. Academic and psychologist Karen Skerrett coined the term “Emerging Elder” and will be co-leading a Santa Fe workshop with me May 12-17 called ”Emerging Elders: Wisdom, Growth, and Transformation,” so if this topic is intriguing to you, please join us.
Bestselling author Jim Hollis, in his mid-80s, helped us to see the value of Carl Jung’s work in embracing the Middle Passage to Elderhood. He said it represents a summons from within to move from the provisional life to true adulthood, from the false self to authenticity. Ken and Maddy Dychtwald helped us to see how mature couplehood could be the most fulfilling time of our lives. Then, the modern day Joseph Campbell, mythologist Michael Meade, inspired us with the value of personal mythology based upon metabolizing our life experience. Dr. Bill Thomas reminded us that elders are meant to be rebels.
We had three doctors the second morning. Zimbabwean Dr. Dixon Chibanda transfixed the audience with his tales of The Friendship Bench and how grandmothers worldwide might be the solution for society’s mental health crisis. Dr. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot helped us to see the value of lineage and why 7 Generation thinking has value in the modern age. And, Dr. Louise Aronson helped us to see that while our body may falter as we age, so many other parts of our life are on the rise.
We finished up with that same evolutionary astrologer I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, Steven Forrest, helping us to see our path between the two Saturn returns (from 60ish to 90ish) and Pam McLean reminded us that certain professions – like coaching – are made for elders. And, we ended with a very personal conversation between me and Maria Shriver. For the 350+ of you who joined us, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
The whole experience reignited my passion for why MEA exists. One of the things missing in modern life is an ability for people to reflect upon what it means to become an elder. We have no schools, tools, rituals or rites of passage in our 40s, 50s or 60s to help usher ourselves into this vital later life stage so we end up with many cantankerous and calcified older people. This is why our MEA workshops are so essential as we infuse ritual into the process of us becoming a modern elder. African thought leader Malidoma Some captures this in his exquisite quote:
“Where ritual is absent, the young are restless or violent, there are no real elders, and the grown-ups are bewildered. The future is dim.”
I hope you’ll join us for our first Emerging Elders workshop in Santa Fe in a couple of weeks. We will give you a mainstream rite of passage to becoming a modern elder.
-Chip