Yet, there’s a quiet truth we tend to overlook: If you don’t know who you are, you become what you do. This is not just a personal observation—it’s a cautionary tale for our society, which too often conflates productivity with identity.
As someone who’s spent decades navigating the intersection of business success and personal growth, I’ve witnessed how workaholism can consume a person. It’s a subtle but dangerous trap, where the pursuit of external validation—whether through promotions, accolades, or financial success—becomes all-encompassing. And, it’s even more complicated when it’s the internal calling that is driving the intense devotion to one’s work. When your work feels divinely inspired (a vocation or calling), it’s easy to see your career as an extension of who you are at the deepest level.
To break free of this cycle, we must redefine what success means. It’s not about how much we do, but why we do it. When we make time to reflect on our deeper values, we reconnect with a more authentic, sustainable form of success that nurtures both our well-being and our relationships. When we create a balanced life beyond our work, we are less affected by the inevitable career rollercoaster that we all experience. Unfortunately, three of the five friends I lost to suicide between 2008 and 2010 had their identities so defined by their work as entrepreneurs that when their businesses got crushed by the Great Recession, they had no sense of who they were without their business.
Workaholism is often born from the fear of inadequacy, the anxiety of not being seen or valued, or not being good enough to succeed without Herculean effort. But true fulfillment comes when we stop defining ourselves by what we do and start defining ourselves by who we are. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is to carve out space for introspection, for emotional connection, and for joy beyond the workplace.
We have the power to reclaim our identities, but only if we step back and ask the deeper questions: Who am I without my business card? How do I value my future eulogy as much as my past resume? The more we recognize that our legacy is not about making money, but instead about making meaning in our lives and others, the more connected and content we’ll feel.
-Chip