But, early in the morning at the Beverly Hilton recently, just the two of us were waiting to be served by the baristas.

So, I struck up a conversation with the man with the glitzy glasses. I was writing this blog post based upon a question Gestalt psychotherapist Fritz Perls once asked, “How is it possible to be unattached to the outcome, fully in the moment, and yet have a clear agenda?” Not the normal question Deepak contends with when he’s undercover in the coffee line.

I told him that one of my challenges throughout my life as a leader has been to be present and focused on doing the right things but also fixated on getting the results I’m looking for. Deepak’s soulful eyes told me a lot. I felt like I was asking him a question he needed to ask himself, being the mindful striver that he is. To be honest, I didn’t get much from him other than feeling his presence. Maybe he needed his jolt of joe.

So, I went for a walk and pondered this Fritz Perls question by myself, especially important in light of how I lead MEA as the imperfect CEO.

It is hard to have multiple leadership intentions without feeling or looking like a scattered doofus. I want to empower my team while, at the same time, optimizing our best results, which often means I believe “father knows best” (and I’m the father). As the father, it’s easy to miss the power dynamics with my team if they’re always feeling like I might swoop in. After clearing my head on the walk, I came back to my laptop and jotted down these four questions that helped me to see how I can be better at both empowering people and maximizing results:

1. What assumptions am I holding about my role as a leader?

2. How do my assumptions get in the way of empowering others?

3. What if my team knows better than me, and how could I create the conditions for that to happen?

4. How can I give space for small failures that build wisdom and, in the long run, make us stronger?

If there’s one key lesson I’ve learned from this thought exercise, it is this: The best thing I can do is to be authentic as a leader and a human and let those around me know about the cognitive dissonance I occasionally feel between wanting to empower others and feeling safest when I do it myself.

As always, my colleagues guide me to becoming a better leader.