I have a big fear: not living up to my potential.
Of sitting on my deathbed questioning if I made my one shot at life count.
The fear motivated me for the first 25 years to succeed at nearly every game that was placed in front of me.
I got the degrees (Bachelor’s and Master’s), I passed the CPA exams, and I got the high-paying consulting job in NYC. I lived in my own studio apartment in Greenwich Village. I took advantage of the NYC nightlife on the weekends.
But the question kept coming back: “Am I making my life count?”
What did I have?
Prestigious job. Check.
Early promotion. Check.
Active social life. Check.
Parents who were proud of me. Check.
I could talk a big game to anyone about my life, but when I actually sat with myself, I knew I wasn’t living up to my potential. But instead of doing something about it, I numbed out this feeling through workaholism, boozy weekends, and extravagant meals. Wasn’t I living the dream?
Maybe this was a dream, but I couldn’t help but honor my intuition telling me this wasn’t my dream. I felt like I was just surviving. I didn’t have a great sense of purpose or meaning in my day to day. My job felt like a means to an end, rather than a true calling. I was exhausted from a steady diet of 60+ hour work weeks and nonstop weekends. Was this making life count?!
I was in my mid-20s. Weren’t these supposed to be my prime years?! Wasn’t I supposed to be full of energy, climbing the tallest mountains in the world, and doing something that would change the world?
Checking the boxes wasn’t doing it for me. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life… but I definitely know this isn’t it.”
Then it hit me: maybe instead of checking boxes, I should instead be solving for a feeling and reverse engineering that. But what was that feeling?
I knew it wasn’t surviving or languishing. I also knew it wasn’t numb.
Did I want to feel like I was thriving? That felt closer.
Then it hit me. I wanted to feel alive! And not just twice a year on vacation. I want to feel alive every damn day!
Quarter Life Breakthrough
I just described what I would call my quarter-life crisis. And I’m honestly grateful for it. It forced me to ask the bigger questions in my 20s rather than waiting until my midlife crisis. And over the past 6-7 years, everything changed.
I went from a Big Four consultant to a Life and Happiness Coach.
I went from binge drinking on the weekends to ultramarathoner and Ironman.
I went from a shallow dating life to immense depth with my girlfriend who I now live with.
I went from a life of shoulds to a life of wants.
I went from comfortably numb to fully alive. And I get to show up as my full self every day.
As a coach, keynote speaker, and UCLA instructor, I now help those navigating their lives figure out what makes them feel alive and turn those dreams into a reality. And beyond that, I finally feel like I’m making my life count, while helping others do the same.
The Generational Epidemic
It turns out I wasn’t alone in my struggle. What I thought was my personal quarter-life crisis is actually a full-blown generational epidemic.
- The 2024 World Happiness Report ranks the U.S. 62nd out of 143 countries in happiness for people under 30, compared to 24th for our population as a whole.
- Over 70% of millennials and Gen Z say they are “struggling” or “suffering” according to Gallup’s Global Well-being Index.
- Deloitte’s Millennial and Gen Z Survey reports that nearly half of young professionals feel burned out from work most or all of the time.
We don’t have to wait until we’re 50 to wake up. We can choose to feel alive now, and we can learn how to design a life that matters.
Why This Matters Now
This is why MEA has launched their first session for a younger population this January: ALIVE: Building a Life That Matters in Your 20s, 30s & 40s.
In this session, we will help you gain clarity on what it is you really want out of life, build the confidence to go after it, and get creative in bringing it to life. If you feel ready to take your life back, this session is for you.
The Path Forward
If this resonated with you, remember:
- You’re not alone
- You are enough and you deserve to enjoy your life
- There is a path built for you. It may be hard to see now, but trust that, and know that the path unfolds as you walk on it.
If you’re ready to feel alive and make your life count, I’m leading a workshop this January specifically designed for people navigating these exact questions in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
Thriving in Your 20s, 30s & 40s: Building a Life That Matters brings together an intimate group in Santa Fe for three intensive days of clarity, tools, and real support as you design what comes next. Sometimes the best investment you can make is taking time to get unstuck and move forward with intention.