Forgiving, though—that’s the real flex. Forgiveness is like hitting unsubscribe on resentment’s newsletter. You don’t condone the bad behavior, but you stop letting it drain your energy every time it pops into your head.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what happened, nor does it mean inviting the same harm again. Instead, it’s choosing to lighten your own load. Resentment is a backpack filled with rocks. You can lug it around for years, or you can set it down and walk lighter.
In fact, remembering—without bitterness—can make us wiser. We can forgive someone who hurt us and still remember the contours of that experience so we don’t repeat it. That’s not holding a grudge; that’s practicing discernment.
Here’s another way to look at it. Subtract the first syllable “for,” and you’re left with “give” and “get.” Forgiving is a gift you give to someone else. On the other hand, you “get” a piece of wisdom when you learn a life lesson.
So maybe the phrase needs a rewrite: Forgive, and remember wisely. Because forgetting robs us of our lessons, but forgiving allows us to carry them with grace instead of resentment.
-Chip