"I'm Just So Tired of My Body Failing Me."
This title was the headline of a New York Times story this summer—an evocative headline that has me personally wondering if my body is failing me or am I failing my body? Am I the victim or the perpetrator?
More than three years into my prostate cancer journey, I’ve come to realize that my relationship between victim and perpetrator is somewhat codependent. I was in excellent health when I got the news that I had intermediate-stage prostate cancer, so it came as a surprise. Initially, I felt victimized and, soon after, I had another ailment that required emergency surgery. Suddenly, I really did feel like my body was failing me.
My response was to spend the next year trying to be the hero to my body: working with a functional medical doctor, changing my diet by going to the Optimal Health Institute, drinking green juice and taking supplements every morning, exercising, and meditating more. You know the drill. The good news is my cancer went dormant and, other than the active surveillance through regular testing, the turmoil between my body and the disease was copacetic.
Then, the pandemic came along, and all bets were off. I started eating too much chocolate and drinking too much alcohol as a coping mechanism during a stressful time. I put on my 19 pounds of Covid weight. I also wasn’t doing my prostate testing in San Francisco because, well, I was stuck in paradise (Baja). More than anything, I’d forgotten that food and drink are a form of medicine. Long story short, three years after my diagnosis, my cancer has started growing again. It’s now time for more serious measures to solve my health challenges.
So, is my body failing me, or am I failing my body? At this point, my brain is a blender about this question. Fortunately, I’m focused less on who is to blame and more on a truth and reconciliation approach to restoring my health.
Today, I will go under general anesthesia for a surgery/procedure on my prostate. Wish me well.
I’d love to hear your stories about this topic, as you’re probably a little tired of my "organ recital." LOL.