Men At Forty. Marriage at Twenty.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Donald Justice’s “Men at Forty” (see below) was written nearly sixty years ago, so maybe it should be renamed “Men at Fifty” given our extended longevity. There’s a melancholy flavor to the poem, a sense of lost youth, but also a curiosity about the second half of one’s life. I couldn’t help wondering how this poem might relate to the second half of one’s marriage. Age can affect one’s body, but also one’s relationship as marital inertia (and kids) swallows the energy of a connection.
Just like you go to the gym to revitalize your aging body, maybe you need to go to a workshop to revitalize your atrophied relationship. Whether you’ve been together two years or twenty years, you and your partner deserve some quality time together to chart out where you’re going next. MEA has two upcoming Baja workshops that are perfect for couples (but also singles) and maybe you can spring these on your partner on Valentine’s Day: “Love’s Journey: Transforming our Relationships” with Dené Logan March 4-9 and Navigating Transitions in Love, Sex and Death with John Pearson April 15-20. Both of these workshops are offering a special 50% discount for couples (using the discount code VALENTINE when you sign up) and are offering financial aid for those (single as well as couples) in need. Enjoy the poem…
Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to.
At rest on a stair landing,
They feel it
Moving beneath them now like the deck of a ship,
Though the swell is gentle.
And deep in mirrors
They rediscover
The face of the boy as he practices trying
His father’s tie there in secret
And the face of that father,
Still warm with the mystery of lather.
They are more fathers than sons themselves now.
Something is filling them, something
That is like the twilight sound
Of the crickets, immense,
Filling the woods at the foot of the slope
Behind their mortgaged houses.
-Chip
