I invented the Decade Game when I was eight years old to imagine who I would become when I was 18 and liberated from childhood. Ever since, I’ve had a new game for each decade that’s inspired and guided my journey.
This practice equipped me for getting remarried at age 60 in 2012.
Deciding to re-partner at that age isn’t for the faint of heart. Set in our ways, armored to survive the unexpected, tending and blending families – these were some of the realities Rob and I brought to the altar.
We wanted to design our future, not default to old patterns. We also made the commitment to each other that our best years were in front of us.
My mother asked us, “Why get married at 60?” Our answer was simple. – we didn’t want to just grow old together, we wanted to grow epic together! It’s one of the reasons we decided to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro on our honeymoon.
In the local language, Kilimanjaro means “difficult journey,” and so it was.
The ascent was a rigorous seven-day climb, thirty-seven miles, 19,000 feet in elevation, 10 to 12 hours a day, through many different climate zones – tropical, savanna, rain forest, and winter (think glacier!).
We were not climbers. My husband had previously trekked in Nepal, so he knew you can’t gut your way to the top – an internal journey of getting to your center is required.
To that end, Rob, ever the wise teacher, gave us a mantra that was essential to our ascent:
“Every step our hearts get stronger, every step our lungs get stronger, every step our legs get stronger, every step our love gets stronger.”
We still practice that mantra, 13 years later, and it’s infused our partnership and all of our personal and professional adventures.
Epic partnerships don’t just happen.
The word ‘partner’ comes from the Latin for ‘a part or portion.’ True partners aren’t ‘apart from’,’ they’re part of something greater than themselves. This holds true at home as well as at work or in community endeavors.
Epic partners – personal or professional – thrive on an aligned vision, shared values, and a go-forward strategy that must be dynamically revisited and refined.
Great strategies aren’t about predicting the future. Epic strategies are derived from bold visions and executed by being equipped to embrace the unpredictable.
We wanted to do the same with our marriage – to be partners in love as well as purpose. We wanted a “WE” game that could elevate and complement our well-developed individual “I” games.
One of our first moves in our “WE” Decade Game was to create our own company, Imaginal Labs LLC, with us as the co-managing directors and only employees.
Our collective mission for the company is the same as our personal missions: to help courageous leaders find their magic and use it honorably to mobilize others to achieve their dreams – be it family, friends, or colleagues.
The essence of the Decade Game is to create a vision and high-level road map that’s inspired by purpose, guided by a decade destination of your dreams, and played in the present, one move at a time.
There are no wrong moves – only the next move that’s possible today and holds a hint of your future dream. From that new step, the next set of possibilities emerge.
It’s good for every individual to have their own Decade Game.
But a marriage is not just two partners playing complementary “I” games. There’s an opportunity to create a third game – for what we call your “sacred third.”
The Decade Game for our marriage builds on our individual games but finds the harmonics in key areas of family, philanthropy, adventures, learning, and, in our case, our professional work.
It also gives us a common framework and language to understand the ambitions, challenges, hopes, and dreams that we each have in our journey of being the best versions of ourselves – to the benefit of the people we love and serve.
A well-designed game for your marriage also allows you to navigate all the trials, triumphs, and transitions that the universe will throw at you and your loved ones.
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Ready to design your next epic decade together?
Rob and I are thrilled to return to MEA’s stunning Baja campus this October 6–11, for our
Designing Your Best Decade for Couples Workshop. This isn’t just another retreat – it’s where MEA’s profound wisdom on life transitions meets our proven framework for creating the most extraordinary decade of your partnership yet.
Past participants consistently tell us they left with three powerful gifts: crystal-clear vision for their future, deeper intimacy with their partner, and genuine excitement about the adventures ahead. We intentionally keep enrollment small to foster the kind of authentic connections that become lifelong friendships.
Want to explore if this transformative experience is right for you and your partner?
You can book a conversation with an MEA Alumni Advisor, or reach out to us directly – we’d love to hear your story and share more about this journey. Email me at [email protected].
The best decades don’t just happen. They’re designed by couples brave enough to dream big together.