It was Memorial Day 2023, and I found myself at a neighborhood barbecue sitting beside a guy who asked me the proverbial “What do you do?” question.
At the time, I was already about five months into my unplanned gap year. Following a layoff, I had instinctively and with surprising clarity stuck to a promise I had made to myself to engage an entirely new path, despite having no clear sense of where it was heading.
I was exploring what to do when I grew up. Again.
I still hadn’t mastered the art of explaining this situation, but I fumbled through it, adding that I was doing a whole lot of reading and was exploring concepts I hadn’t made time for over decades of working the grind.
“Oh really? Like what?” he asked.
All right, I guess we’re going there. I talked about having just read a book about the science of awe and how I was wildly intrigued by positive emotions. I mentioned that I was now reading a book about midlife by Sue Monk Kidd, and shared that I have been delving into the nuances of human personality having recently become certified as an Enneagram instructor.
“Hmmm,” he answered, “have you heard of MEA?”
When I told him I hadn’t, he shared with me that he had recently had an incredible experience at an MEA workshop in Baja. It felt like a thread I should follow, so I checked out the MEA website immediately after returning home.
I was shocked that not only was MEA hosting an upcoming workshop with Russ Hudson, arguably the pre-eminent living expert of the Enneagram, but six months later would also be welcoming Dacher Keltner, the author of said book on awe.
Within 24 hours, I was booked for the Enneagram workshop in Baja four weeks later. Within six months, I was back to spend a week in December exploring awe with Dr. Keltner.
This first workshop felt like a dream. On the first night when confronted with finishing the sentence “If you really, really know me…,” I inexplicably finished with “you’d know that I’m trying to create an allowance for my tenderness to emerge.”
I felt possessed. Who said that? It couldn’t have been the Daniel who’d been ruled by his head these past few decades.
What I couldn’t have predicted when I reluctantly raised my hand at the end of the workshop to be the cohort lead was that I would be introduced to Leslie Bartlett, who invited me to go for a walk around Washington Park in Denver, where I was living at the time. We immediately clicked, and she hinted that MEA might be able to use my skills as it was navigating its growth.
I was by no means looking for a job. In fact, I was dead set against it. This liminal time was full of creation. I had established my own business, and was determined to deliver something of value to the world and (very important to me at the time) that it be on my own terms. I didn’t want to be on someone’s payroll, and I was almost there, I told myself.
But as the December workshop approached, Leslie asked again if I would consider working for MEA, even if part-time. My previous sales leadership experience in tech startups, she thought, would be valuable to MEA as the company was trying to build the sales systems and processes for a profitable future.
I knew I couldn’t say no, but I wasn’t quite ready to say yes either. I committed to 20 hours a week, and after a few months on the job, I couldn’t deny the force and flow of what I was experiencing. I realized that the best way for me to contribute meaningfully to a powerfully transformative organization was to put my previous plans on the shelf and dive in fully. And so that’s what I did.
I’m forever grateful for that origin story, and for being a part of MEA – this “movement”, as Chip has called it – as we keep striving toward deeper impact. I’m fortunate to spend my days as an entry point for so many guests’ journeys, but also to contribute in other ways: collaborating, facilitating, capturing insights from the people who come through our doors (and even from those who don’t), brainstorming how we can best discover and meet the needs of midlifers, and occasionally hanging out with the new colts at the ranch.
I relish being in those transformative spaces, where unpredictable shifts and powerful connections forever change the trajectory of a life – just as they changed mine a few years ago. I often wonder how it all happened. In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have cooked up such a plot.
When I reflect back on that incredible year, it often feels like a dream. My daily experience of the world, of myself, of my emotions, and of the other people, truly felt different than I had previously known: more present, much deeper, full of so much mystery. I found myself, for the first time, asking questions that didn’t require an answer, and that felt like freedom.
Some of what we learn can never be unlearned – and that magical year taught me two truths that will stay with me forever.
The first is about flow. When I get out of the way; when I listen, trust and continue moving forward; when I let go of striving and forcing and ruminating; a space is made where the generative forces of good appear. This feels like a forever truth.
And the second lesson is a bit more simple: say yes more than no. Saying no is easy, but saying yes – particularly when it feels risky or threatening to the ego – will never let me down.
Daniel is the VP of Sales for MEA, but also does some facilitation and is highly involved with the LGBTQ+ affinity group, which he’s led for the last couple years. You will find him at MEA Baja this July for Your LGBTQ+ Story (July 2-6), Evolving Your LGBTQ+ Identity and Purpose featuring Greg Louganis (July 6-11) and LGBTQ+ Camp Days (July 12-16).